Friday, April 20, 2012

Dear Tumour

Why did you decide to awake again? Didn't I make it clear during our radiotherapy that our relationship was coming to an end?

Did I not make my feelings clear?

Aaah maybe I was just too polite.

I do remember thanking you for not treating me too badly, for allowing me to birth three beautiful girls, for the wonderful years with Mark and being able to become a teacher. I thanked you and then I said I was done with you. With my head jammed into that horrid machine, we chatted. Do you not remember??

Why wake up now?? I'm just starting to deal with the unfairness of it all. I was just starting to adapt to my altered eyesight. I was getting really good at living in the present and not catastrophising about the future. Instead I have started worrying about leaving the girls and Mark again.

Then 'they' tell me you have grown a few mm. Enough to motivate us all to discuss the next plan of attack.

How dare you not even give me a bit more time between treatments. I've only just recovered from the last lot. In fact I still have some ongoing sideffects. I guess you'd say it 'serves me right, picking on you like that'.

But I need to make it clear. I am a determined and stubborn person. I'm also very good at finding the positive. You haven't got me yet oh tumour. How dare you try to scare me again. How dare you make my eldest daughter worry and my husband frightened he'll lose his mate.

How dare you!!

How dare you !!

How dare you!!!




I'll show you...


Jaz

17 comments:

  1. I reckon your tumor is quaking in it's boots right now I would be. The thing I admire about you most Jaz is your courage and fighting spirit. You have touched so many people with your journey precious lady and we are all willing you to win xxx meg

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  2. Here with you praying that hideous tumor into submission xxx

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  3. Jaz - what a horrible blow. Your courage and strength is inspiring and you have exactly the right spirit. Praying for you xxxxxxxxx

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  4. Praying for you Jaz, as Meghan said, you have touched so many people with your journey and your fighting spirit. Your positivity is an inspiration x

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  5. I am helping you to bash that tumour in to submission from England!Karen xx

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  6. Those words really should make your enemy shrink in shame. Keep it up, Jaz!

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  7. Jaz, my thoughts are with you and I am sending bucket loads of positive vibes your way! From Steph, Loburn School x

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  8. Good for you - keeping you in my thoughts & prayers!

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  9. Hello Jaz:
    We know exactly where you are coming from. Your wonderfully positive attitude is truly inspirational and we send you our warmest wishes, our thoughts and our prayers.

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    1. Best wishes to you Jane and Lance. Thank you for your comment.
      My most positive thoughts heading your way from me Jx

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  10. These are inspiring and courageous words. Put the darn thing in its place!!!

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  11. Thinking of you Jaz - keep fighting!

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  12. Sending love! You are so inspiring. What a blessing you are to your family and friends. Stay strong blog friend and keep fighting!

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  13. I haven't visited your blog for a while and hadn't realised that this darn 'thing' (doesn't deserve a name) had made its presence felt again. Sending positive thoughts and wishes your way.

    My daughter in law, who has never smoked in her life, is battling lung cancer so we are involved in a battle of our own. Which we are hoping to conquer.

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  14. Thinking of you and praying for you today. x

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