Those of you who follow this blog regularly will understand, after the events of 2011, a corner just had to be turned.
I spent much of last year frightened of the future. What could happen, might happen but hadn't yet happened. That is the corner I'm talking about. About living in the NOW.
Living in the now is something I have talked about on this blog a few times. When I was struggling as a stay at home mum and when I was diagnosed with a brain tumour. I have been thinking about this a lot recently as I struggled to adapt to and accept the changes with my eyesight. Part of me refused to accept the poor vision because I felt I might be giving up, giving in.
I don't see it like that at all now.
I see it as living in the NOW.
In fact, I didn't even realise we had a book on our shelves at home titled "The Power of Now" (Ekhart Tolle). Cool. Somebody's already done much of the thinking for me!!!
I can't read it very well, My eye muscles struggle to read for very long but I enjoy skimming and finding enlightening quotes for myself
In the past I have catastrophized and turned my fears into big ugly mountains in front of me. But I've been thinking about that. Fears aren't real. Sure they can be based on some startling true facts eg I HAVE A BRAIN TUMOUR, but essentially our fears are our imaginations going for a walk.
So I've stopped walking my fears so often and taking myself out for fresh air instead. Lately I seem to be able to enjoy today and not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will come and then it will be today. I've got no control over it, just how I perceive and receive it.
I'm strangely calm about my MRI I just had. I'm still awaiting results and I refuse to waste precious time on irrational fears. If they tell me I'm dying, then I'll scream and cry, but not today, not NOW.
On that note. Have a lovely day and weekend. If you need to worry about something, allocate a time and focus on it for a little while. Problem solve, but don't let it become you or your life. I've been there, we probably all have at some time of our lives. But I'm learning a tough lesson. There's a lot of living out there to be done. Join me and live it in the NOW!!!
Happy Easter to all of you.