Thursday, September 13, 2012

Thursday Tantrums

Sorry peeps, no photos this week.

Just a grizzle about living with these crazy eyes of mine. Yep, I'm grizzling. A little over 'keeping calm and carrying on"

I'm still living with double vision, for almost two years now. I wear glasses which is not an issue, other than the fact that it makes the double vision clearer to detect.
This is what I see if I don't tilt my head.
I want all those people who see me on a daily basis to know and understand that I do tend to blink a lot, I have to move my head slowly to look up or across at you and I will tilt slightly. Hopefully it just looks like I'm particularly interested in what you are saying or wearing. (Which of course I am!) :-)

I am considered safe to drive, yes sir eeee!
My double vision seems to be better controlled with distance vision. I also drive with my head tilted to the side, and bob's your uncle, it's like a perfect world out there.
The tilt is the answer to a perfect world for my eyes!!


I get tired keeping my head to the side. (Not just driving I's're safe :-)
I get sore keeping my head on the side.
I get grumpy occasionally too.

I can fix it, by wearing an eye patch. But most days I want to look normal. Be treated normally.

I wake, glad I've made it to another day, but down hearted knowing it will be an inner and physical struggle.

Of course like always and every other day I play the 'glad game' and I'm ok.

When you are not under threat it is easy to forget that each day is really a gift. As we go through the motions of the same breakfast routine and off to the same work place. 
I remember that time fondly but I'm ashamed at how blase I was about life. The "I'll always be ok" mentality, "it'll never happen to me!"

Well it can and sometimes does. I really hope you can find good stuff in your life amongst all the routine and mundane. I know a lot of you are good at reminding me of how far through my journey I have travelled.
What about your journey? I hope you are happy with it!

Jaz xx


  1. Actually that sounds quite rough! Just to let you know chch bloggers having a coffee and catch up next weds 19th at addington coffee co-op 10am. Think Bridget is coming and know Max is if you Rangiora ones wanted to car pool - love to see you

  2. You are such a tonic Jaz. You always have a way of cutting out the crap and getting to the point when it comes to analysing your problems and being thankful at least when you are writing. I'm sure that in less 'rational' moments you let off steam. I'm sure that we all do one way or another. Your point in this post is so so apt that I'm going to steal it for my Thankful Thursday post today too. We spend so much time taking things for granted when we have them. Even with the lessons I've learned from you over the last few years I still take some things too for granted.

    On the subject of eyesight and double vision my brother CJ has double vision as well as other severe sight impairments caused (I think I'm correct in saying) by his neuropathological condition. Because I only have one useable eye I have never taken my eyesight for granted. Playing the Glad Game though: only one eye means that I can't suffer from double vision!

    Go well my friend.

  3. Big hugs Jaz. You are simply awesome xxxxxxx

  4. Thank you for the reminder to cherish each day for what it is and to not take life for granted. I cannot imagine being in your shoes, but thank you for sharing what life is like walking a mile in your shoes. This year hasn't been the easiest for me either healthwise as you know but I've been trying to keep positive and having role models like you my dear has been a real encouragement xx

  5. Your blogs are awesome, it's a good reminder for me to appreciate the small things in life. Thank you. You really are amazing

  6. You're absolutely right, there is much in life we don't fully appreciate until we lose it, or nearly lose it, or realize it may not last forever. I don't have double vision but I have very irritating "clouds" floating around in both eyes - and neck problems since before - so I think I can imagine...


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