Thankful Thursdays: Numb!

I had this weeks Thankful Thursday's post planned in my head early this week. I just wanted to thank everyone out there for believing in me.

A few words.

I thought simplicity might just get the message across how I wanted it.

Thanks

Then came yesterday's hospital appointment. 

As the tumour does not appear to be growing they don't want to see me again for six months.

Ummmmm.

I walked out with Mark and Phoebe feeling quite numb. I think that was the feeling? 

I hardly slept last night and then woke yelling at the children.

Nice.

Tino pai Jaz!  (Well done)

So what's up Jaz? 

Well, they built me up for a round of Chemotherapy. I had my will in order and had my funeral music chosen. Just to cover all bases, that's all. Well it's done now and they want to leave me!!??

That's why I feel numb I guess. I had myself prepared for the worst. 

I still have to live with the ongoing symptoms, and the MRI in January will be scary. This is still a part of my life. So I just couldn't feel anything yesterday.

I'm sure Mark must think I'm bonkers.

Sometimes I think this tumour might be making me bonkers.

So I did something today.

I wrote a children's book. About a parent having Cancer, from the perspective of the child. 

If I'm brave enough and can find some lovely children to illustrate it I might ..........well you know........ see if anyone else thinks it's ok. I know the librarians at the Cancer society are desperate for more children's literature.

So I was numb. Now I'm kind of chuffed. Proud?

Maybe this tumour experience is presenting a silver lining.

SIX MONTHS!!

I can just be Jaz for six months.

A new Jaz, a different Jaz, but still mum of three and wife to Mark.

Wow

See what I mean..........that's how numb feels.

Jaz xx