More so when I'm busy or feeling unsettled.
Busyness makes my brian swirl with goals, plans, juggling tasks etc.
Unsettledness just makes me self talk in the wrong way. Jump ahead too quickly down the wrong path. I realised this after meeting with a friend for coffee and feeling ashamed that our friendship was on the rocks. Again when I looked about my house and saw all the dust I had been ignoring.
I also realised I did this when I posted about being in a rut and reflecting on what did that to us all on occasion.
Chattering is normal. I don't have voices in my head. My tumour and the surrounding radiated matter has not grown a personality. Self talk is normal. I am normal.
It is the subject of talk that makes it healthy or not.
So what should we do if our self talk isn't so healthy? Well I'm not a therapist. How should I know??
What I do know is how to live alongside the 'tumour cloud'. Sometimes scattered, sometimes thick and dark. The only thing that really works for me is deep ribcage breathing and telling myself I'M OK.
Positive self talk does not solve or resolve, but it changes my state of mind. Pausing and letting the cloud clear just enough to settle the feeling of unease.
Too long.....and my mind will wander too far forward.
Pausing in the moment..........is just enough.
Peace of mind is cheaper than any doctor.
Long, deep breath everybody.