Well as Jaz would say its Thankful Thursday.
I have thought long and hard about what I have to be thankful for on this Thursday. Last Thursday Jaz put a beautiful picture of our little Phoebe at the beach, the new budgies, Jaz's latest cooking creations, a snap shot of how wonderful our life together has been.
So it doesn't take much to work out that Im thankful for the time I've had and will have with Jaz and the girls.
To hear her voice again or to lie in bed and read together right now would be like winning lotto! But in time I know I will win the jackpot. Until then its head down, look after the girls and a lot of patience.
To update you on her progress today. She sat up, mouthed some words and managed to sing the first line of Twinkle little star!
Apparently the singing and talking part of your brain are in two different places. She responds really well to my voice and I managed to get her to move that right foot. It made my day. First real movement since the operation.
Even though she slips in and out of consciousness when she is alert I can see determination and frustration in her eyes. I know she is doing everything she can to get better.
She also had an ECG today so with the Speech therapist, physio and ECG she was exhausted and spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping.
I learnt more about what happened during her operation, to be honest with grief came anger and I wanted to blame someone. I asked the registrar how they could have possibly done this?
She explained that Jasmines tumor is 10cm inside the centre of her brain. That tumor decided to grow behind the Vein of Galen one of our main providers of blood and oxygen to our brain. An incredibly difficult operation. The vein was damaged and she bleed causing multiple infarctions (strokes)
They had no idea that vein would have caused them any problems. Also her brain was swollen with cerebrospinal fluid impeded by her tumor so either way surgery was inevitable. Over the last month or so she complained a lot about feeling sick and numb. Little did we know that fluid was building up creating her discomfort.
The registrar said recovery can take a long time. Most people dont normally improve after 18 months. So after 18 months we will know what effect this has had on her.
Fingers crossed its a full recovery but to be honest Ill take whatever I can get.
It will be tough but. I know with the support and kindness I have been given from friends and family we can do it, yet another thing to be thankful for.
The girls are starting to feel the effects of not having mum around. Little Phoebe runs into my room every morning and checks Jasmines side of the bed. Every morning I give her a hug and tell her mum will be home soon. Caitlin saw Jaz yesterday and decided not to see her again today. She is scared but coping pretty well. Tears flow often. Being our first she is very close to Jaz.
Molly now 6 has a very forward care free attitude to most things. Yesterday she had her first cry. She wanted to know where Mum was and if she was ok. I took her in today to see her Mum. There was tears but Jaz gave her a one handed hug, a smile and kiss. Molly and I put some pictures on her wall and left her a large photo of the girls.
I have 3 great kids, Im very lucky yet another thing to be thankful for. Together we are coping with this change in there lives. School starts next week which I hope will bring some distraction and of course some playmates.