Auckland Anniversary day

This time last week Jaz was in surgery. What a week we have all had!

I lay in bed last night thinking about the week that was and how much we have been through. The time spent crying has almost passed and is being replaced with happiness and reassurance that things might be ok.

Luke and I visited Jaz this morning. Caitlin is staying with a friend and Molly and Phoebe watched movies in our regular family room on the ward.

Jaz managed with the help of the nurses to get from her seat to her bed no hoist required. A huge achievement. Her speech is stronger, still very forgetful and confused but we are rewarded with conversation of sorts much more than we ever had before. She practices unscrewing and screwing on the lid of her hand creme, more often than not she fails but it highlights to all in the ward how determined she is to get better.

The ward nurses are very proud of her progress and I was stopped several times today by them expressing to me how pleased they were with her.

The Neurology team are great but the nurses and hospital carers are fantastic. They have such a tough job but regardless of the situation continue to care. I make a point of contacting her carers every time I enter or leave the ward. I think my kindness towards them is returned with kindness and compassion towards my family and most importantly Jasmine.

Today is Auckland anniversary day a 3 day weekend which has made the hospital wards very quiet. No surgeons or physios walking the wards, no extra tests or scans. Its almost like everyone that is not critical is on hold for a few days.

Tomorrow will bring the hustle and bustle heightened by the lost day on Monday as new patients arrive and current patients are assessed. For Jaz that means, another MRI, a possible increased dose of blood thinners, assessment for another possible operation (shunts - Ill explain another day!!) and the results of her biopsy. All of those procedures have consequences so it will be another very busy and emotional week.

For me its a meeting with my work place to discuss our future, Molly starts school on Tuesday and Caitlin starts college on Wednesday. I must admit I am looking forward to avoiding the what am I going to wear arguments when the School Uniform takes over!! Im sure there are a few of you out there that understand where Im coming from.

Balancing school and visits will be difficult but made so much easier with Luke staying this week.

Tomorrow we will also try and find a pillow that has an ipod dock or radio built in. Jaz would like to listen to music. I gave her the iPod today but she got frustrated with the ear plugs. Im sure there must be something small that would be appropriate.

So as the first week closes another starts with many more small steps and hospital visits!

Day 6

Well its almost been a week since Jasmines operation. This time last week I was sitting in hospital keeping her company while she waited for her operation the following morning.

I remember that we didn't say much to each other. We certainly didn't discuss any "what ifs" if anything was to go wrong. For us it was a routine operation, one that should have seen her home pretty soon.

It saddens me sometimes when I think of those wasted hours, I wish we had talked more but maybe just being in each others company was enough.

If I had the time again Im not sure I would have said much more. Apart from a few more hugs!!!

I think everyone that reads this entry should approach the person they love the most and tell them how much they love them and why. You just don't know what's around the corner.

It was Scott and Fiona's last visit today. Very emotional for them and us. Jaz looked pretty good. They had tied her hair back off her face. She was propped up in her chair and spoke more. She managed to read the Auckland Health board writing on the nurses uniform which means that she can read and see!

Still very tired but as I said yesterday little steps. The Nurse suggested we arrange some music or a movie for her in a couple of weeks, something to help with the boredom.

The girls went to a birthday party with friends this morning, I got upset because I couldn't find a jumper for Molly and tonight Luke arrives.

Life is very hectic but as long as we are clean healthy and fed what is there really to complain about?

I want to thank you all for your words of support. Being so far away is hard. We didn't plan a Brain tumor to be part of our Auckland adventure!!! So the distance has been hard. Your messages in what ever form has been the next best thing to being here and it really helps. I pass on every one to Jaz which always brings a smile to her face.

We have become good friends with our neighbors so they are cooking home made fish and chips with freshly caught snapper for the girls tonight while I take Luke up to the hospital to see Jaz. A classic case of some good kiwis looking out for their neighbors!

Little Steps

Day 6 has almost passed.

I write this having just completed my evening session with Jaz. Fiona and Scott have been great. Sharing the load with the kids during the day visits and then taking over in the evening so I can drive to the hospital by 7.30 to spend a quiet hour with Jaz in the evening.

This is a perfect opportunity to thank them in this public forum. They head off tomorrow which will bring tears and sadness. I'm sure it will be difficult for them to leave when Jasmine is in hospital.

Tomorrow Luke takes over and the week following my Mum (who cant wait!) and sister Hayley arrive.

Visiting is tough. It takes 40mins to get into the hospital from home to make some very strict short visiting times 11am - 1pm and 3pm to 8pm only to find that Jaz is so tired she isnt really that interested.

Jaz continues to make positive steps towards recovery. Today she sat in her chair and sipped coffee through a straw while a Nurse held the cup.

I suggested to the Nurse she would like her hair washed. She has a wound in the front and back of her head from the 2 different operations, so a full wash is further down the track but she said she will do her best to freshen it up.

They have attached a splint to her right arm as it continues to sit in a very tight "V" position. She finds it very painful but did say "I have to get better". Movement in her right leg is still quite restricted but she will wriggle her toes when asked and the Nurse continues to encourage her hourly.

On the home front the girls have been busy we had a great afternoon at Matt and Becky Jones house playing with their 3 boys. It was so nice seeing them bounce on the tramp, fight over the best toy and in general have fun. I even managed to convince Phoebe to go back to bed at 1am this morning when she jumped into bed with me. Normally Jaz would do that and if I ever tried Phoebe would kick up a fuss. Lots of small steps for us as well.

Caitlin finds this whole situation the hardest. It does worry me, she is a very sensitive person and life for her is tough enough with a new college and everything else an almost 11 year old girl has to think about without dealing with her Mum in hospital.

I said to her Mum will come home but in the meantime its all about us. Together we have to look out for each other and in the end it will all come together.

Its all about lots of little steps.

She speaks!!

I mentioned in my last post that hearing her voice again would be like winning lotto! Well guess what today 6 numbers came up!

She spoke at 4 am telling the nurse she was in hospital. Since then she has spoken several times to all that have visited. Including Caitlin and Molly.

The girls seem so much happier, however little Phoebe still hasn't seen Mum. I asked Jaz today if she would like to see Phoebe and she said no. Its also great to see her making decisions. I understand that she wouldn't want someone so young to see her like that.

The physio had her sitting in a chair today and the speech therapist continues to challenge her. Even managing to make her feed herself some shepherds pie using a spoon and her good left arm.

All in all today was a good day for Jaz. We left the hospital a satisfied family and a very tired wife, mother daughter!

With that for me comes the anxiety of looking after both her and the girls. Even with Scott and Fiona helping, looking after 3 young girls is tough work! Chuck in my desire to spend time with my wife who continues to get better and I find myself in a bit of a spin.

I know deep down Jaz would want me to priorities my time around our children which will be difficult at first but Im sure with continued support from our friends and family I will be able to both spend quality time with her and fill the needs our children desire from their parents.

To finish I would like to thank you all for your continued support, prayers and well wishes. Everyday I run through your names which brings a lovely smile to her face. Please keep them coming it works! along with heaps of medicine Doctors, Physios, Therapists and brilliant Nurses.

Tomorrow is Saturday so who knows not only might I get 6 numbers but I could also get the bonus number as well!!!

Thankful Thursday

Well as Jaz would say its Thankful Thursday.

I have thought long and hard about what I have to be thankful for on this Thursday. Last Thursday Jaz put a beautiful picture of our little Phoebe at the beach, the new budgies, Jaz's latest cooking creations, a snap shot of how wonderful our life together has been.

So it doesn't take much to work out that Im thankful for the time I've had and will have with Jaz and the girls.

To hear her voice again or to lie in bed and read together right now would be like winning lotto! But in time I know I will win the jackpot. Until then its head down, look after the girls and a lot of patience.

To update you on her progress today. She sat up, mouthed some words and managed to sing the first line of Twinkle little star!

Apparently the singing and talking part of your brain are in two different places. She responds really well to my voice and I managed to get her to move that right foot. It made my day. First real movement since the operation.

Even though she slips in and out of consciousness when she is alert I can see determination and frustration in her eyes. I know she is doing everything she can to get better.

She also had an ECG today so with the Speech therapist, physio and ECG she was exhausted and spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping.

I learnt more about what happened during her operation, to be honest with grief came anger and I wanted to blame someone. I asked the registrar how they could have possibly done this?

She explained that Jasmines tumor is 10cm inside the centre of her brain. That tumor decided to grow behind the Vein of Galen one of our main providers of blood and oxygen to our brain. An incredibly difficult operation. The vein was damaged and she bleed causing multiple infarctions (strokes)

They had no idea that vein would have caused them any problems. Also her brain was swollen with cerebrospinal fluid impeded by her tumor so either way surgery was inevitable. Over the last month or so she complained a lot about feeling sick and numb. Little did we know that fluid was building up creating her discomfort.

The registrar said recovery can take a long time. Most people dont normally improve after 18 months. So after 18 months we will know what effect this has had on her.

Fingers crossed its a full recovery but to be honest Ill take whatever I can get.

It will be tough but. I know with the support and kindness I have been given from friends and family we can do it, yet another thing to be thankful for.

The girls are starting to feel the effects of not having mum around. Little Phoebe runs into my room every morning and checks Jasmines side of the bed. Every morning I give her a hug and tell her mum will be home soon. Caitlin saw Jaz yesterday and decided not to see her again today. She is scared but coping pretty well. Tears flow often. Being our first she is very close to Jaz.

Molly now 6 has a very forward care free attitude to most things. Yesterday she had her first cry. She wanted to know where Mum was and if she was ok. I took her in today to see her Mum. There was tears but Jaz gave her a one handed hug, a smile and kiss. Molly and I put some pictures on her wall and left her a large photo of the girls.

I have 3 great kids, Im very lucky yet another thing to be thankful for. Together we are coping with this change in there lives. School starts next week which I hope will bring some distraction and of course some playmates.

Update

Hello there.

I thought that by now you would all be wondering how Jaz is getting on. I promised her even though Im not nearly as good as her at this I would help Caitlin update while she was away.

I have a feeling it will probably help me get through this chapter in our lives.

Jaz has had a really tough time. Her operation on Monday did not go to plan, she had troubles with a blood vessel close to her brain tumor that started to bleed. It has caused what they have said in basic terms a stroke.

With the problem blood vessel, the trauma from the operation and now a build up of fluid she is unable to speak or move her right hand side.

I spent some time with her this morning along with Caitlin and today she smiled and gave us both a teary one armed hug.

It was hard for Caitlin seeing her like that but I think she needed to see one of her girls. A reminder from me that she has an awful lot to get better for.

My beautiful wife and mother to my girls is still in there trying to get out. It is incredibly hard seeing her like this but at this point in time there is nothing more we can do but wait.

The future will probably bring us another 5 or so weeks in hospital and then 6 months in rehabilitation depending on how badly she has been effected.

I look into her eyes and I can see the pain and frustration this is causing her. I know that she would sooner be writing this and I definitely know she will scold me for any incorrectly used comers or full stops but until then I will keep you all posted as often as I can.

Until then I need all of you to think positively and help me get this amazing funny beautiful lady through a terrible time.

Regards

Mark Treacy

Out of Theatre

As most of you will know:
Jaz has a brain mass...

She had an op today, to remove the mass, (the op started around 11am and finished some time around 5pm)

but it is wrapped around a blood vessel and so can not be removed safely... a biopsy has been taken.
At this stage, it appears to have been in there a long time... and the theory is (for now) that it is likely to be not of the very nasty variety, however there is a risk that it may one day physically become a 'nuisance' if it is growing.

She has been awake since the op but is still in recovery.

More updates on the girls and Jaz's condition, can also be found at fourpawsandwhiskers.blogspot.com

see you soon!

Well, the bag is packed. Stomach in knots, but mind pretty calm.

The worst bit, I'm dreading, is saying goodbye to my three girls for a few days.

I won't be around to read any comments. But I'll be feeling your thoughts and love traveling my way.

So, I'll talk to you all soon.

Jaz xx

Paper beads: desperate for a holiday activity???

I love beads and making things with the kids. With three girls in the house I doubt we will never be in short supply of bits and bobs that glitter and sparkle.

What we do have, like most home, are leaflets, scrap paper bulging recycling bags of 'junk' mail.

Paper that can be used in all sorts of ways, and especially with a six and ten year old who are ready to get back to school.

I've been thinking about making some jewelry this year and was looking online for some tutorials and inspirations for materials etc. I must admit, I hadn't thought about the piles of paper and bits of unused scrap-booking paper we have on hand. Check out some online tutorials here and here.

How about trying this little fun activity:

Paper Beads:

Cut a long triangle. Vary the sizes and lengths to vary the size of your beads

Begin rolling up the widest end around a kebab stick. Easy enough for my child model!!!

(we actually put a tiny spot of glue on the paper at this early stage to help keep the beads tight and strong)

Keep rolling until you have a little strip left. Pop on another dab of glue.

Finish the rolling.

We threaded them back onto the kebab sticks to dry.

To use them, they really need to be varnished. We had to use some watered down PVA glue. But they look cool.

Next thread them onto some strong thread. Voila! A necklace or bracelet.

I can't wait to try some really bright coloured papers. Supposedly glossy coloured magazine pages work well.

Jaz

xx

Thankful Thursday

Ok. There's a lot around here to be thankful for again. What a fun game this is!

Thankful for beautiful smiles of little people who seem to be growing up at an almighty pace!!

Spirulina smoothies for E.N.E.R.G.Y

New life as mentioned here

The facial expressions that new pets bring!

The delicious beauty in before...

....and after shots.

The squeals and laughter that came from this 'stocking filler' joke soap sitting in the bathroom. I still catches me off guard occasionally.

Thankful for Rescue remedy and Chamomile /Peppermint teas to calm nerves and tummy.

Have a great and thankful day!

xx

My next mountain.

Well. I said I'd update you when I heard..........and I have.

Sitting on the floor of the local library I received 'the call' from Auckland Public Hospital. It's a good thing I was already on the floor.

I'm having brain surgery on Monday.

Yep this, Monday 24th January. Giving me only five days notice to get my head around it. (and my family's!!). Sunday afternoon I'm in for the pre-op tests (poking and prodding that's necessary). AND I'm first on the list for Monday's surgeries, which I think is probably a blessing for us all.

If this is the first you have read of this, my previous posts are here and here

I've been bumped up the list due to some recent symptoms.

So here I am telling the world that I have a brain mass and it's now to be removed.

Yesterday I cried. Ran outside for air. Cried. More air. But I slept soundly.

Today I feel calm and almost ready. I'm really scared.........but a little relieved. I'm thinking, hoping, knowing that this is the end of my first leg of my current personal journey. Monday marks the start of the next. A mountain for me to conquer.

Mountains aren't necessarily a negative thing. They are an awesome feature of nature and it's very satisfying and rewarding to climb them. Oh and the view is normally pretty amazing from the top.

I have an excellent surgeon. One of the best. If I knew him better this is the letter I'd write to him today.

Dear Andrew Law,

I'm grateful to be meeting you again. I wish it wasn't necessary. I wish it was just for a coffee.

I hope you have a great weekend with your family and a very refreshing sleep on Sunday. (I'm not sure mine will be so).

Have a really good coffee on Monday morning. But only one, as I want those skilled hands as steady as possible.

I know you're in for a treat. I've got a pretty interesting brain in here. I realise my case is intriguing for you, but not too much partying on the operating theatre until I'm back together again please!!

I can't wait to shake your hand later that day. You're going to be great!

kind regards

Jaz

xx

More babies!!!

We have two beautiful additions to our household. (And I have nothing to do with these ones)

Molly and Phoebe are smitten.

Have the pleasure of meeting Zoe and Ollie

Hello Zoe

Hello Ollie

They scramble about, hang upside down, show off and chatter away to the girls' delight.

Fantastic to have new life in the house.

So cool

xx

I need a title...

I love writing. I have children's stories half written and poems and notes scattered through journals and computers. But I never do anything with them. Other than enjoy.

I don't normally share, this blog was my first opportunity to share any of my written thoughts. Oh man, how good it has been.

One of my goals for this year was to be me and to be brave. So, I am. I don't normally share cause I'm scared.

What of?

Judgement? criticism? Probably. But if I like it.......that's ok......isn't it!!!

I would like your help though. I want the following poem to have a title. Will you help me?

I met a man today,

You have a beautiful dress

Thank you

Roman? No Egyptian.

Grecian

Beautiful…………

I met a woman today,

What are you looking for?

Quiet………

Aaaah……… balance!

Yes

I wish you well….

I met myself today,

Hello my friend

I’ve been looking for you!

I have always been here.

I’ve been looking for you!

I am right here.

But couldn’t I find you…….

I’m here my friend.

In the quiet…..

Beautiful

(I have a couple of other bits I was brave enough to share a few moons ago here and here)

xx

Lemon Lover's Slice

J'adore Lemons

This is my favourite lemon recipe (other than lemon cheesecake, pie, sorbet, muffins).

Well, it's my favourite lemon SLICE recipe.

I'm sharing it because I know there must be others out there, passionate about the lemon. I know my best friend is, I really hope she reads this and makes it for her kids this week!!!

It is also made entirely in a food processor. I know, that means you have to wash all the bits afterwards. But I promise. It will be worth it.

HUGE thanks to Simon and Alison Holst and their "100 Favourite Muffins and Slices" book.

Spread the word!!

Lemon Squares

BASE:

2 cups plain flour

1/2 cup icing sugar

125g cold butter

TOPPING:

1 1/2 cups of sugar

rind of 1 lemon

3 large eggs

1/4 cup lemon juice (two small lemons)

1/4 cup self raising flour

Preheat oven 160C

Line a slice tray with big piece of baking paper. It needs to be well covered (23cm square pan recommended).

Into the food processor goes the BASE ingredients.

Combine until it looks like fine crumbs.

Press into tray.

Bake for 15 -20 minutes until firm and straw coloured. Prepare topping while base is cooking.

For topping, process the sugar and lemon rind together (at this point I insist that you remove the lid and shove your head in. Take a great big sniff, it is AMAZING)

Add eggs, lemon juice and flour until completely combined and smooth. It should be runny. (Kind of looks like a delicious lemony egg-nog. But don't drink it, the slice just isn't the same without it!!!)

Ok, pour this topping mixture over the hot base and pop back into oven for another 30 minutes.

It is cooked when the top is golden, lightly browned and the centre doesn't wobble when the pan is jiggled.

(Here's the worst bit) Wait until it is COLD before cutting into squares!!!

Yum yum yum!

I hadn't made it for a while and the kids were begging for another piece this arvo. So quick, Off you go!! Go and make some!!!

xx

Summer Reading

I have just finished this book.

For the second time.

Written by Elizabeth Gilbert

I actually wasn't in the correct head space in November when my friend lent it to me. I skimmed it. But this past week I actually READ and digested it.

And I loved it.

Even the long descriptions of places afar and experiences of meditation. Which, lets face it, if your not in the right mood for. It's just not gonna happen.

Actually that's not quite accurate. If there are too many little distractions running around then any quiet, 'me' time or reflection is near impossible.

I haven't seen the movie. My hub has. He saw it on a plane between NZ and Aussie. He recommended it, but I really wanted to reread the book first.

I'll share one of my favourite passages from it. This bit really struck home for me!

"...happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."

Elizabeth Gilbert; Eat Pray Love, Bloomsbury

Total coolness. Too often I have waited for happiness to be served on a platter, although I don't really like to admit it. I have been lazy, far too often. Wondering what my future will bring. But really, this book reminded me that I can probably bring it to myself if I try hard enough.

See it isn't just your physique and property that needs maintenance this New Year.

xx

Thankful Thursday

I'm sure you would agree, the warm weather makes it easier to be thankful on a daily basis.

☀

This week we are extremely thankful for the beach....again.

Jumping waves......

Resulting in fully clothed swimming!!!

Beach smiles ☺

Thankful for children that like setting up and taking photos :-)

I particularly love the fact that my two youngest will eventually abandon their clothes for impromptu nude swims.

Sand through your fingers

We ♥ the beach

Oh and we love this............little icing people made by eldest little Treacy person.

Have a thankful day and week,

love......

xx

Dear 2011

Dear 2011...

I've thought about you a lot already. I wont write a post about resolutions....... so many, some I'm scared to even say out loud.

But the Treacy family are ready to meet so many goals. Thanks for delivering us plenty of sun, fun and hope so far.

I am looking forward to what you promise.

Good health

A New school

More writing

More singing

Two pending babies (friends', not mine for goodness sake. I'm happy out to pasture, watching others)

Adventure and discovery

Confidence and risk taking!

And to you 2010..................

I apologise for not taking everything you had to offer. I probably could have made more of what was in front of me.

I can't believe the curved balls you threw me. Some I couldn't catch (not known for my sporting prowess). A couple of them slapped me right in the face and knocked me over.

But I made it to the end..........slightly more...........awake.

Dear Jaz........

Don't forget, today is precious. Don't waste it. Even if the day only brings rest and recreation. Don't waste it.

Stop putting off things because you're scared or doubt yourself. Start being who you want to be and not what others expect. Others WILL love you for it, including your children.

Try to not procastinate so much, endeavour to live for today, not tomorrow.

Starting.........NOW.

Finish that story, write down that poem in your head, make music, be the better friend, wife, mum. But most of all....love you!

love and warm wishes

Jaz

xx

Love thy Neighbour

Hi ya

I don't even have time to take a pic and post it.

But I had to let you all know.

The world is still a gorgeous place.

We still do good things for each other...........all the time.

I always smile and chat with my neighbours. We've had them over for BBQs. We've swapped veges from the patch and the odd egg or cup of sugar. Our children share backyards and play together daily.

They have proven to be great guinea pigs for my baking.

I don't know them well, we've only been in this house for about six months. But already feel quite 'at home' because of our developing relationship.

Guess what?

I know "stuff" isn't everything.................but they have given me a SEWING MACHINE!!!!!!

An old Jenome model, that was sitting around the garage. Great working order, just needs oiling. No cash wanted.

OMGOLLYGOSH :-)

I nearly wet myself (blame three gorgeous kids for that one).

Beautiful people. Right next door.

I'm gonna have to do some serious baking this month.

....and some serious sewing. (Once I learn how to drive it).

Am I a good neighbour? Are you?

xx

Thankful Thursday

I miss growing flowers very much. When we moved to Auckland in May 2009 we sold our Southern house and have rented up here ever since. It really is easier when planning around schooling, work contracts, health etc.

At our current rental property, we don't have a garden. Mark has managed to squeeze a very successful vege plot in and we have strawberries and herbs growing on the deck. It has been a year of container gardening for us.

So a few days ago I noticed something quite spectacular growing along our driveway. I knew it was there, but expected a dull shade of pink maybe. Like the Canterbury soil had always delivered me.

Shocking blue Hydrangeas

It's more than a baby blue......and 'shocking' isn't quite the right word either.

So yummy. I could almost eat them up.

I am thankful I could bring them up to my kitchen and look at them all day.

Small things huh.

Sometimes that's all you need.

xx

Gardens, Waterfalls and Beaches

Yesterday's day out was much needed and full of surprises.

Reading a fellow blogger's post at Paisley Jade this morning. I am in complete agreement. NZ is beautiful and it is amazing what you can find in your own backyard.

Having explored great chunks of the area around our current home and some of Northland we decided to head South.

Driving through Manukau with already restless children we stumbled, quite by accident on the Auckland Botanical gardens.

There we spotted..............

....metal seagulls....

...water...

And a Christmas tree made from ferns and poinsettas.

... a walled, edible garden to be very envious of, (or at least strive for)....

Back in the car we headed to a place truly out in the wops wops, near the Bombay hills.

Hunua Ranges to be exact.

Hunua falls

Can be found here and here if you are interested in the geology and location.

Not quite Niagra, but breathtaking and noisy enough to get us all awestruck and excited.

A wobbly swing bridge allows this first glimpse of the fall from a distance.

One of the access ways

Our touristy pic contribution.

I wish this was closer to my house. I think I could sit here for hours writing all sorts of inspirational things.

Bush walk in for a closer look.

And of course, as promised to the regional council, we left only our footprints. (Although Miss 6 was kind of concerned about our tyre tracks in the parking area. I assured her it would be fine. Innovative thinking though!!)

Then driving up through Clevedon (which we both loved the look of). The kids were fighting and playing games in the back by this point!!

We kept driving out towards the coast arriving at Maraetai beach.

Maraetai is covered with shells and has an amazing view of Waiheke Island directly in front of us.

With a camera full of photos, ice creams eaten and tired, sun weary bodies. We scoffed fish and chips and slept well.

xx